“To be commanded to love God at all, let alone in the wilderness, is like being commanded to be well when we are sick, to sing for joy when we are dying of thirst, to run when our legs are broken. But this is the first and great commandment nonetheless. Even in the wilderness – especially in the wilderness – you shall love Him.” Frederick Buechner
I’ve been really challenged with this thought this week. Do I truly believe that God is all-powerful? That He is in control of all things and that my life is precious to him? I would say, yes, I do believe that. But how does that belief work itself out in my life? Do I live like I believe that. I don’t think I always do. As I sit here at my kitchen table, I know of two women who have recently been told that they will die of cancer. These women don’t know each other; they live on opposite sides of the country. I believe that God has the power to heal both these women. But I also know that He might not. So how do I live believing He has that power and yet trusting Him when He chooses not to use it the way I think He should?
“Can we live now as if God is loving, gracious, merciful, and all-powerful, even while the blinders of time are obscuring our vision? The prophets proclaim that history will be determined not by the past or present, but by the future.” Philip Yancey
I’m reading “Disappointment with God” by Philip Yancey right now, which is where both of the above quotes are taken from. It raises a lot of questions and a few answers. Mostly though, I think we are left with a lot of questions when it comes to God. As Yancey says, you can’t explain Einstein to a fly. The divide between our knowledge and God’s is even greater. That can be hard to swallow, hard to be satisfied with.
I keep coming back to this verse in Jeremiah: “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) That verse has meant a lot to me at various times in my life and I keep coming back to it lately. Compared to many in this world, I haven’t experienced a lot of tragedy and yet I would say I’ve had times of suffering in my life. I cling to the knowledge that this earth is not my ultimate home. I cling to the knowledge that my God has a plan for me, a future that is so much better than what we have now. I believe He does hold the world in His hands and that His plans are good. I want to learn how to live that belief better each day.
I recommend “Disappointment with God” if any of this echoes with you. I also recommend reading the book of Job. It has some of the most real and raw questions of humanity and also some of the most beautiful poetry I’ve ever read.
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