(Audio) Book Review: The Harder I Fight the More I Love You by Neko Case

I received an ALC of this book thanks to Libro.fm and the publisher. All opinions are my own

I’m moderately familiar with Neko Case’s music, primarily her work with The New Pornographers, but I knew nothing about her personal life. And I didn’t know much of what this book would be. Turns out, it is not really a book about music except that music is central to Case’s life. This is a memoir, heavily focused on Case’s childhood and family and then her early twenties, before she became a recognizable name.

Case grew up in the Tacoma, Washington area, the child of teen parents. Although her parents married when they found themselves pregnant with her, they were an ill-suited pair and unprepared for parenthood. They split up when Case was young and her mother re-married. Both parents (and therefore Case herself) moved around a lot and her childhood was one of uncertainty and upheaval, often with a sense that she was not wanted around. When Case was seven-years-old, she was told one day that her mother had died. There was a funeral service and Case mourned the sudden loss of her mother. But just a few years later, her mother returned. She had never died. She probably never had cancer either.

The fracturing of this relationship and the instability of her upbringing follows Case well into her adulthood. She hops from place to place, searching for connections, which she sometimes finds through friendships, horses, and music. There are moments of beauty and wonder but it’s also a very sad story to hear about a child experiencing. Case tells it with steady honesty and intimacy.

Personally, I also loved the Pacific West Coast setting. Case lived for a time in Vancouver as well and her stories of her time there and the burgeoning music scene of the 1990s was fun to hear about. Case narrates her own story for this audiobook and her voice and tone adds a lot to the intimate feeling.

Big Neko Case fans will probably enjoy this even more but you don’t have to be familiar with her or her work to appreciate this story.