El Bachelore – Episode 2

The episode opens with a shot of Molly the Dog swimming in the pool. Probably the highlight of the episode. Though that would also make me not want to swim in the pool anymore.

One-on-One Date with Clare

• Clare allows herself to be blindfolded and gets into a car with a man she’s only met once. Women everywhere: This is a mistake! Don’t do this!
• “Meeting a guy like this makes me feel hopeful.” – Clare, who seems to have forgotten about the dozen or so other women he is simultaneously dating.
• Juan Pablo remembers that Clare was funny and clever on the first night. So apparently he doesn’t remember that she was the one who stuffed a pillow under her dress and pretended she was pregnant.
• They arrive at a man-made “winter wonderland” in the middle of LA and go sledding and it was confusing to me because I couldn’t figure out how cold it would be.
• I think there’s a good chance for Clare to be the next Bachelorette. She has definitely drunk the Bachelor Kool-Aid and seems to go on and on about how magical this is, how much of a connection she and Juan Pablo have, what a journey she’s on….
• Juan Pablo says nice things about Clare but without much enthusiasm.
• Snow machines working overtime.
• Someone I’ve never heard of sings to them.
• Clare gets a rose and the first kiss of the season.

One-on-One Date with Kat

• Juan Pablo whisks Kat away in a private jet to the thrilling location of…Salt Lake City!
• While still on the plane, he puts on a hideous track suit that lights up. So, they’re going to a rave?
• Is Salt Lake City known for its raves?
• They show up at something called the Electric Run – a 5km run/dance/rave. There’s a lot of neon and glowsticks.
• “He’s someone I would truly chase after in the streets.” – Kat re: El Bachelore, which is a weird thing to think about actually doing.
• Does Kat remind anyone else of Dee from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
• Juan Pablo says he’s looking for someone who’s spontaneous and fun, which is all well and good but I don’t see that as sustainable in a long-term relationship. Especially when you have a kid. Sometimes you want someone who comes home from work on time and remembers to pick up milk.
• Kat gets a rose but no time where she is actually alone with Juan Pablo.

Group Date

• The date card tells the ladies to “Say Cheese”.
• “I assume it’s a photo shoot but maybe it’s eating cheese. I’m good at both.” – Kelly. Is she ditzy or funny? Hard to tell but I loved this line.
• Chelsi seems like she is about 12 years old.
• The date is a photoshoot with rescue dogs as a fundraiser.
• Lucy makes it clear that she doesn’t like dogs.
• She does, however, like taking off her top.
• The ladies are assigned costumes. Lucy is a fire hydrant. Kelly is a hairless dog.
• Elise and Andi are both assigned a nude photo shoot. Elise, smartly, switches with Lucy.
• “I was happy to take off my top, as always.” – Lucy
• Andi is uncomfortable. Fair enough. I would be too. Why though, can she not simply say, “No, I don’t want to do this.” What kind of date makes you this uncomfortable? Why do you feel like you can’t say you don’t like something while you’re on a date with this man?
• Frontrunners on the date so far: Cassandra, Renee, and Nikki.
• Andi, nervous and vulnerable, is far more likeable than the Andi in a fake courtroom scene in the first episode.
• Kelly’s hair is huge! Just want to mention that.
• Cassandra pulls Juan Pablo aside to tell him that she has an almost two year old son. Here I was wondering why on earth a 21-year-old would be on this show.
• Juan Pablo and Renee have a good repoire, though they only seem to talk about their kids.
• In the night’s drama, Victoria gets drunk and belligerent.
• “I’m just fun, sober.” – a clearly drunken Victoria to Nikki, after Nikki tells her to “tone it down”.
• “I don’t feel like I’ve been in a situation like this before.” – Nikki, who seems unsure whether she’s ever dated a guy who’s also dating 20 other women.
• Victoria switches from rambling, obnoxious, but happy drunk, to locking herself in the bathroom and crying.
• Renee, in what I thought was the nicest moment of the episode, shimmies under the door to comfort her.
• Victoria bursts out of the bathroom, insisting that she wants to go home.
• “You can’t go home without shoes.” – producer to Victoria. The producers insist that, for her safety, they won’t let Victoria just leave the way she is and so she locks herself back in the bathroom.
• Juan Pablo goes in to talk to her and I feel for the guy because, really, what is he supposed to say to this girl who barely knows who is clearly having some sort of breakdown.
• Kelly gets a rose for being “the best sport” and Victoria spends the night at a hotel.

• The next day, Juan Pablo goes to see Victoria.
• “I guess I should apologize.” – Victoria. Not actually an apology there, Victoria.
• Juan Pablo accepts her “apology” and then tells her good-bye. I would have been pretty unimpressed if he hadn’t sent her home. Whatever’s going on with Victoria, she is clearly not someone who he should bring into a 4-year-old’s life.
• “She’s not a fun situation.” – Andi, describing Victoria.

Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony

• Amy fishes for compliments while pretending to be a news reporter with Juan Pablo. It’s as awkward as it sounds.
• Turns out Cassandra is this season’s parents who questions her decision to leave her child to come on this show. Which probably is something you should question.
• Again, Renee takes the role of comforter. I like Renee.
• “I see you and Renee differently than anyone else,” Juan Pablo tells Cassandra and he promises he would send her home if he knew it wasn’t going to work out.
• Alli, Andi, Amy, and Lauren all look the same to me.
• Chris Harrison comes in to tell them about roses and it sounds like he stumbles over the word rose. You should know that one, Chris!
• Roses go to: Cassandra, Nikki, Andi, Elise, Sharleen, Renee, Danielle (who we never saw this episode and whose name I’d forgotten), Lucy, Alli (who Juan Pablo calls Alison?), Chelsi, Lauren, and Christy (also unseen this episode).
• Amy and Chantel go home. Amy does have a good news reporter fake smile.