El Bachelore – What Went Wrong?

I’ve reached the point with The Bachelor that I reach in just about every season. Boredom. I enjoy the first few episodes and I enjoy the last couple of episodes but in the middle…you lose me. Next week is Hometown Dates which I always enjoy so I think I will likely be back to recapping then.

In the meantime, I thought I would go back and revisit my predictions from Episode One and see what I was right about and what I was horribly wrong about.

The four Ladies who we will witness introduce El Bachelore to their families next week are: Clare (who’s crazy), Nikki (who’s probably not a nice person), Renee (who’s a really nice person), and Andi (who I have almost nothing to say about).

Here’s the post where I made wildly speculative predictions about the show after one episode.

I predicted:

  • Chelsie would last only 2 or 3 more episodes. This was false.She was just now sent home in episode 6. Good for you, Chelsie, I guess…
  • Renee would make the top 5. This was true! Mostly because it’s kind of a vague prediction. I don’t know what will happen to Renee. For her sake and for the sake of her kid, I hope she gets out of there quick.
  • Andi would be “the jealous one” (This was false) but would make it to the top 4 (This was true). I can’t remember why I thought Andi would be jealous. She seems like she needs a lot of reassurance, though at the same time she is easily reassured. I think she has it in her to be in the final two. Maybe?
  • Nikki would make it to the final 4. This was true. I’d forgotten that I found her very cutesy in the first episode. That vanished quickly.
  • Clare would be in the top 5. This was true and, again, kind of vague. I’m fairly certain Clare will be in the final 2 at this point. I still really, really hope she doesn’t show Juan Pablo the DVD that her deceased father made for her future husband. Because there is no way she is actually ever marrying this guy.
  • Amy L. would go on 2 or 3 dates before being eliminated. This was false. I’m not sure if Amy L. even went on one date before she was sent home at the end of the second episode. Was she on the dog group date?
  • Cassandra would be eliminated shortly before Hometown Dates. This was true? Again, kind of a vague prediction. Juan Pablo sent her home in the middle of a group date on her birthday in episode 5. What does that count as?
  • Kat would be eliminated the episode after she got her first one-on-one date. This was false. Kat got a one-on-one in episode 2 and stayed around until episode 5 (I think), which was a long time to “date” someone without ever having an actual conversation with them.
  • Chantel would be eliminated in the next episode. This was false. She was not but she was also never a real contender and whether or not that is racism is not an argument I feel equal to.
  • Victoria would be eliminated in episode 3. This was false. Victoria was sent home after becoming alarmingly drunk in episode 2.
  • Lucy would last for a few group dates to be “quirky” and then be sent home because Juan Pablo already has a four-year-old in his life. This was true. Nailed it.
  • Lauren would get the first one-on-one date. This was false. A prediction based on nothing other than the fact that someone had to get that first date. Lauren never got a one-on-one date, got a lame “I have a daughter” excuse when she tried to kiss the guy who had already kissed multiple other women, and then got sent home.
  • Elise would make the top 8. This was false. I think maybe she made the top 12? So…good for her?
  • Alli would not last longer than 2 more episodes. This was false, surprisingly. Alli lasted several more episodes and was eliminated in Vietnam, but we almost never saw her so it was as if she was eliminated after the first episode.
  • Kelly would be sent home and Molly would stay. Sadly, this was false. Molly the dog was left to wander Bachelor mansion alone after Juan Pablo and the Ladies left on their jet-setting travels. Hopefully she and Kelly are somewhere swimming in another pool right now.
  • Sharleen would be the normal girl who left of her own volition. This was true! Go Canada! Though Sharleen actually stayed much longer than I thought she would and seemed to find it harder to leave our sleazy bachelor than I thought she would.

There. Now you’re all caught up. Join me next week as we involve more friends and family in this embarrassing spectacle!

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