These two. What a miracle their lives are to me. I’ve been thinking a lot about anniversaries, dates on the calendar. This time of year is full of them for me. Five years ago I was pregnant for the first time, weeks away from miscarrying and learning that pregnancy and childbirth were not going to be the straightforward journey I’d dreamed of. Four years ago I was waiting to give birth, moving to Vancouver, and praying hard for our baby’s heart to be healed. Two years ago I was so freshly pregnant that I was terrified to tell anyone and waking every day to thank God for one more day of pregnancy.
Today I have two healthy, growing daughters. I have a sixteen-month-old cuddled up in her crib with her favourite stuffed toy. I have an almost four-year-old “helping” her dad shovel snow on the front driveway. I have a husband who has walked these years with me, holding my hand through grief and joy.
It has been harder than I ever imagined. God has been bigger than I ever knew possible. He has not answered every prayer the way I wanted it answered. He has not always provided in the ways that I thought were best. He has written a story on my life – He is writing the story of my life – and it is so much more beautiful than I could have dreamed.